Being around depressed people

Being around depressed people usually isn't a whole lot of fun. But sometimes it's hard to avoid being around if these people include your family or friends. Unless of course you decide to be anti-social for a long time and find a decent cave to live in for a wile. So whats the best way to handle depressed people without becoming depressed yourself?

To some people I'm an apparently extremely positive about a whole bunch of things. To others I probably seem quite depressed myself. I think it really depends on the circumstances. Certain people can make me quite depressed just by being around. Others are quite the opposite. Obviously whatever else that is going on in my life also has an influence. When i'm visibly depressed, friends will usually try to find out what is going on. Unless I think they can actually help, I will usually resist telling them. I think it serves no purpose to inform others of a situation which depressed me especially if there is nothing any of us can do about it. Then at least we're not all depressed by it.

If something makes me depressed and it is actually within my power to do something about it, then I probably will. Too bad not much fits into this category, so I'd generally prefer people not to know why.

On the flip side, what is the best thing to do when the people around you are depressed. Well actually not much. Generally all I do is wait for them to talk. For some reason people see me as trustworthy. To be honest, I really have no why I lie basically all the time. So anyway, after I hear the story, I distribute my sagely advice, which usually comes in the form of some root cause analysis - a breakdown of the problem into discrete, individually solvable problems, and a set of actions or perspective changes required to make it all go away.

Obviously these aren't expected to happen immediately, and some may dismiss this as oversimplifying the problems. But I'm not a qualified mental health practitioner, so i just do what I can until the professionals get involved. If all you want is a breakdown, I can do that.

Coming and going

Going somewhere for three months gives time for you to see and understand a place a bit more. When you go back to somewhere for three months, it reminds you of all the good and all the bad times. So its either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

I enjoyed myself a bit more than the other trips I've made back. I guess its because I actually had a lot more time to figure out what is going on. Also being a bit more selective in what I'm doing, and the people I want to see. 3 months is long enough to also know that I'm still not ready to come back permanently. 

Maybe I need to wait for some more stuff to happen. To some, five years can seem like an eternity. For some reason I don't think it is at all. To borrow a banking phrase, maybe my investment horizon is just longer than usual.