Dreaming

I just woke up from a dream. Its 3:30am in the morning and I've got to get up to go to work in about 4 hours.

Its weird because normally I don't remember my dreams. Maybe its because I'm sleeping in a strange bed tonight. Maybe its because I'm still not used to the time difference so waking up at 3am has kind of become the norm these days, and dreaming has become my body's natural way to wake me up at strange hours of the night.

This dream was actually quite strange because I remember it so vividly. For some reason I was going to work in different office. It kind of resembled one of those insane asylums that they use for those horror movies, except for some reason they were doing university lectures in them. I was looking for somewhere to sit, since this office was essentially hot desking. I'd also taken what seemed like the freight elevator to levels 1, 2 and 3, because I couldn't decide which level to go to. Finally getting off at level 3, I stumbled upon a lecture theatre and suddenly remembered I hadn't done my psychology research assignment which was due a few months ago, leaving me with a maximum mark of 40 and already a fail for the subject. For some reason my sister was also around.

How work and university got mixed up was a bit strange, but then I guess it wouldn't have been the first time that I'd been working and studying at the same time. Only probably in real life I'd actually remembered to do all my assignments on time and miraculously never failed a subject.

Anyway then I woke up, as if the stress behind being late for work and failing a subject caused so much stress. If it wasn't 10 degrees in the room I'm sleeping in right now, I suppose it would have been in a cold sweat. So lucky I'm not in Singapore then.

The thing with death is...

Its been a while since the last death in the family. Fortunately or unfortunately, this last one has not been totally unexpected, so we've had time to prepare. Also its the first close family member on my dad's side of the family, so its a little different than the last.

I don't think it has changed my perspective on death. I guess it has even less of an effect since I wasn't actually in the same geographical location either. Being half a world away makes things that happen back at home seem a more surreal, like they're happening to someone else. I mean, they are, obviously, but I'm just that more removed from it all.

Now its time to decide whether to go back for the funeral service. The decision is suffering from the same level of indifference as the death itself. Maybe I should stop being so cold about it all.

Sleeping patterns

I've been waking up a lot earlier than usual. I suppose its not totally unexpected, I probably sleep earlier than usual too. The amount of sleep is probably around the same.

The early mornings are generally a better time to think though. This is of course in comparison to the late evenings. At least the sun is out so your forehead can photosynthesise all that light hitting it in the morning. So in addition to waking up earlier, I'm also thinking earlier and probably a bit harder than usual. For example, like now.

There is a problem with this though. Its 8am on a Sunday morning, and it just feels wrong to be awake like this. Sunday morning is, and has been, the traditional time for sleeping in and not worrying about anything until at least lunch time. I want to go back to sleep but I have a feeling its not going to happen. Its also better to digest while sleeping after 10 hours of non-stop eating and drinking yesterday.

Also the stuff I keep thinking about is not exactly the best, but lets not go there.

I'm going to try read myself to sleep again.