Ez's Customer Service Tips

I've decided to put together a few things about being a customer service provider that will probably help those of you who are working in the field. If you're working directly with customers, this may prove invaluable.

1. Feign ignorance
This is one of the most important, if not the most important quality in a customer service operator. You must pretend you do not know, and refer to the relevant department, even if that department is your own. In that case, transfer to the person furtherest away from you, because chances are they'll be the one who doesn't know you. (Note: Does not work for small teams)

Examples:
"I'm sorry, I'm unable to help you with that, I'll tranfer you through to the right department."
"Sorry sir, you've contacted the wrong department. I'll put you through to someone who can help you."

Even if they are adament that they have reached the right department (and they probably have), all you have to do is assure them that you know what you're doing, and the people who told them to do so were probably new, and you don't know them.

"I'm not sure who you talked to, but this isn't the right place. I'll see if I can find the number for it, just one moment." *doo wee doo* "I'll put you through now." *transfer to the person next to you*

2. Feign Sympathy
Another thing to do is feign sympathy for your customers. If they think you're on their side, they're more likely to believe the things you say.

Example:
"I understand that you've been handballed around a lot today. The same thing happens to me everytime I call Telstra, but I've dealt with situations similar to yours, and I'm positive that the [insert random department] is the correct contact point."

3. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT interrupt them.
If you interrupt customers, they get offended. Please avoid this, its good for your own personal health. Plus the longer you're listening to them ramble on, the longer you're doing absolutely nothing, and the closer going home time will be. Theres no example, since its pretty much self-explanatory.

4. Procrastinate as much as possible
Pretend to do other things. If a potential customer looks hard to please or looks even the slightest bit annoyed, stay in the background until either someone else takes that customer, or they leave the queue or shop. Pretend to talk on the phone regarding an urgent matter ("Please action these applications immediently!" ... "I understand you're very busy, but these people have been waiting weeks/months/years." Repeat if desired.)

Another possibility is to gently nudge one of your collegues in their direction.

5. Turn their problem into you're shared problem
Effectively, this changes the customer's perspective on the organisation you work for, but keeps you safe from their wrath. This should only be used in dire situations, for example, when you transfer someone to another department, and they get transferred back to you, by chance. So its almost impossible to avoid a confrontation.

Example:
"Really?! Jeez I talked to them yesterday, they managed to [insert solution here] with my grandma (she can't speak english you know). Its a wonder how these [insert department here] guys can work at all. They don't seem to be doing anything. I'll have someone look into this immediently."

Yeah thats about all I've got at the moment. I hope you've enjoyed it.