My senses seem to be deteriorating. Perhaps from the lack of stimulation, maybe from old age. Either way, the world seems a much duller place.
The nasal cavity is never been one of the best places for smells to hang out. But for me, nothing seems to be registering. Perhaps all those nose pickings are starting to pull those hairs out which have something to do with smell. Everything smells the same, all the time. I can't even smell food, which makes it,... well... I don't have anything to contrast it against now.
My hearing is getting worse apparently. I need to ask people to repeat what they've said over and over again until I finally understand. Then when I do understand, I take a while to respond to it. Its like I've got delayed reaction. No nothing else is on my mind, and no, there haven't been any drugs involved (including alchohol, I haven't drunk anything for at least a month).
Without my glasses, vision is also getting increasingly clouded. I've got an explanation for this one. My sleeping pattern is all whacked out, so when I should be really awake, I have blurry eyes from just getting up, and then when it doens't matter, I'm sitting in front of the computer anyway, so it doesn't matter. My glasses are also getting quite scratched. I dropped them the other day, they came apart, in the grass, so it made it kind of bad. Still looks fine generally, but the minute differences I can't really tell. Never been much of a perfectionist. Another possibility is that years sitting in front of a computer is starting to make me blind. Quite possible in fact.
Touch still seems to be fine. I can feel things quite well. Pain however, seems to be handled really easily. I got burnt at work tonight. Its been happening for quite a while. I just shook it off tonight. Normally I at least curse and something. You could argue that I've just gotten used to it, or that the boiling hot water just killed off my pain receptor cells, and you'd probably be right. But without something in the touch sensory domain, it leaves me with less to go on for a more dramatic 'losing feeling' story.
Emotionally I'm lacking any feeling too. I don't feel especially happy, I don't feel especially sad, and theres no 'potential' to drum up any feelings. I'm not even ecstatic or excited when I get paid. There was $250 sitting on my desk just before, from doing whatever it was that I was doing, and I don't feel happy. Its like... 'ok, I think i'll go get some petrol'. I don't even feel emotionally drained, so its not like it could have 'leaked out' as such.
Its like I'm missing something now, something I had maybe a year ago. But not much has changed since then, so I don't know.
2 comments:
Go listen to John Mayer - Something's missing, it'll fit the mood quite good...hehe..
go easy matey.
lol before i read who that msg was by, i saw john mayer and i knew it was him =)
Cheer up Ez........ i think as life goes by you kinda start thinking about the future a lot more. Well, i have recently anywayz, and then you start to realise that you're gonna be taking on quite a lot of responsibility when you graduate and it's not gonna be an easy path. Besides courses that give you a set dedicated job at the end, like specialised courses such as med, with other courses it's hard to see into the future and where you're going to be heading. I think that's the scary part of life. You have no idea which direction you're heading, i mean even if you think you do, it's never going to turn out the way you expect it.
Looking at the jobs out there they all have the same requirements too. 3-5, 7-10 years of experience..... you wonder how you can obtain such an amount of experience without getting a job first mmmmmmm
We're ACTUALLY becoming adults maybe mmmmmmmmm, now there's a thought..... adults.... mmmmm....... ok maybe we are gettin far, unfit, more reluctant to do things spontaneously, who knows what else goes on in their minds =p
I think it's the fact that alot of people are just gettin bored because the things they do are quite repetitive, maybe try and change the orientation of your room, or not use the computer for a few days, try and cook =p who knows =p
dont worry we all go through slumps, we're all in it together mate
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