A night of hilarity

I was reading some of the old posts on this blog and its actually quite funny. I think it has actually made me want to start writing again. That, coupled with the fact that my game playing desktop machine is kind of broken right now gives me the perfect oppurtunity to start trying. So I thought I'd share something because nobody I talk to on a regular basis actually knows about this situation, and I found it really quite funny. I still chuckle to myself when I think about it a few weeks later. It actually happened on one of those rare occasions I went clubbing.

To put it in perspective, I don't actually go clubbing very often. Once every 3 months at the most. The average is probably closer to once every 6 months. I think I've written before about why I don't go. Its somewhere in the plethora of words that somehow made it from my computer to Blogger in the past few years. Personally I wouldn't go searching for it, but suffice to say that I'm not someone who has the personality nor the physical dexterity to make an impression in that sort of environment. Plus, its not exactly cheap.

So anyway, it was a Friday night, and I'd been to a work team building function thing where people just seem to drink and eat, and then drink some more. Throw in some games and collegues making a fool of themselves, and you have a night of hilarity for people to talk about during the next week in the office and to spread rumours about others to those who didn't attend. It was in some ways quite an eye opener.

Instead of staying around to make a fool of myself in front of my boss and the people who tell me what to do at work, I thought I should go catch up with a friend I haven't seen since I started uni. She was at a club down the road drinking, so I went and met up with her. We went in, and I met some of her friends, and we drank. I'm not sure what I was drinking, but I thought it actually tasted quite bad. Normally I wouldn't keep drinking, but it was free, and being from an Asian background, I just can't say no to free stuff. In fact, the only junk mail I keep is where they give you free samples or vouchers for things. But I digress.

So we did the usual thing. Cheers to just about anything you could think of, and cheers to about an equal or more number of things that we couldn't think of. I remember meeting a few people, but if you put them in front of me today and asked me who they were, I probably couldn't tell you. It was dark, and it was a club! I never actually saw any of them in the light. Its probably better that way, they end up looking better.

Needless to say, I probably had about 5 drinks too many, and had to go to the bathroom to make it all come out wrong. At last count I think it was about 3 times. In the end I kind of went back to the table we were sitting at and promptly fell asleep. Not exactly the best impression to have on a friend I used to have a crush on. Oh well. No, I didn't come to this country because of her. It was a long time ago, and girls skipping the country after I start to have a thing for them seem to happen more often than not. I think theres just not enough room in the country for my ego and them, so its usually them who make room for my ego, and now my belly.

The next thing I knew was that I was sitting at a table with drained drinks with another couple who looked vaguely familiar. I think they were my friend's friends. However, at that stage, they could have been complete strangers and I wouldn't really have cared. All that really mattered was that I wasn't quite alone in a club which was rapidly becoming empty. They looked at me sympathetically. I gave a relatively weak smile in reply.

Someone else who looked quite familiar and was probably smoking weed earlier in the night came by with a couple of girls who seemed quite pleasant and started dancing around near the table. Not knowing what to do and too lazy to do anything, I stared. From what I remember, they were wearing things that were quite flattering. Well, actually, anything would have looked flattering in my state of mind. One of them asked me to dance. As much as I would have liked to, I think that would have just led me to falling over again, so I, as graciously as I could under the circumstances, declined her offer. She seemed to take it as a mortal insult and walked away. Now that I think back on it, I think it must have been the way I was slouched with googly eyes talking to her breasts rather than her face. I have, however, been wrong before.

The couple on the other side of the table seemed quite amused about my state of being, and after a while asked if I would like to dance in the usual way people do when nobody can hear what you're saying:

Girl: *Mouth moves while jerking thumb towards dancefloor and a questioning look*

I surprised myself by replying:

Me: *Expression of surprise coupled with a slight nod and a mouthing of 'okay'*

So she led me by my hand towards the dancefloor. Clearly I wouldn't have been able to make it on my own. The (what I assumed to be) boyfriend, however, was not impressed. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't be either, but the expression on his face was priceless. She started dancing and I waved my arms about and shuffled my feet. Boyfriend stood on the side and watched us glumly. I was trying to milk this for all it was worth.

After a short while he pulled her away a bit. Thinking that it would be stupid to stop dancing by myself, I kept going, making a general fool of myself in front of people I'd never met before. Something else which is not the first time. She seemed to look sorry for me, but also had to placate the boyfriend, so spun a few moves and went back to their seats. Feeling more foolish than before, I thought I should make an exit and stop eliciting spurts of jealousy from the boyfriend, however entertaining it was. I announced to my new found pals it was time for me to go home. We wouldn't want him to start off on a worse impression than I was already giving, in the event that I ever meet them again.

I thought that would be the end of it. I would have been quite content to leave him and his alone. But he seemed quite insistent that once I'd made my announcement, he should escort me to the door. Not exactly the most confident move by a guy in front of his girlfriend, but who am I to judge? All my confidence at the time was alchohol induced. He seemed to also have an issue that I left my bag in the cloak room and needed to fetch it. He really wanted to get rid of me.

I shook his hand on the way out.
'Thanks mate.'

I'm coming back with a bang!